以前

以前自己很在乎的事，现在对这种事的态度变了。轻松了不少。
以前一直把自己局限在一个框框里，总是迎合别人，然后自己搞得自己不喜欢自己的处境，其实一切都是自找的。

开始了解自己，自己是个矛盾体。
我本是一个态度消极随波逐流的人，只因我配合度和适应能力极高，我一直都活得没问题。
但我没有活得很好。

我做的一直都是情况允许我做的事，包括上大学念英文教育系这事。要说我不曾离开Comfort Zone也是对的。只是我的Comfort Zone比别人的大一些。
我随遇而安过头了些，一直信仰着“冥冥中都有注定”这件事，没为自己做一些自己想做的事。

我想做的事，我一直都没有什么真正做到，也是因为我少了一份 “坚持”，多了份 “懒”。
一路上责备自己，有时拿情况当借口。把 “主宰命运” 挂在嘴边，却重来没有让自己的灵魂自由。对自己一直都很不坦白，甚至自欺欺人。

我决定爱自己，训练自己，对自己跟坦白，决定时时解剖自己检讨。
把别人的嘲笑看作鞭策，因为我真的不够好，对不起自己，才让自己被嘲笑。
不让 “不知道”，“不清楚” 成为借口。我其实一直都有个目标在心中，只是我重来没有正视它。
不再用 “或许”、“应该”、“可能” 因为它们将成为一个借口的理由。

冥冥中真的有注定，21岁的我，知道未来只会越来越清晰，也决定让以前真的成为以前。
“以前”，是以前方的目标为信仰，努力做到自己要的事，努力活得非常好。

恶魔的善良，天使的邪恶

他爱上她，因为她拥有他所没有的善良。
恶魔施展了自私的占有欲
他建筑了爱情鸟笼，诱惑天使陷入城堡。

恶魔日日喂食天使所谓的爱情
天使日日以她的爱安抚恶魔

天使的善良终将被扭曲了
恶魔打造金色钥匙，把没有门的鸟笼打开了
只为了释放天使，只为了保存他最爱的那份善良。
恶魔真的感受到爱，也学会了去爱，而他的爱就是放开手。

可曾想过，是天使让恶魔陷入她温柔的陷阱。
自愿住进城堡里，因为厌倦了富丽堂皇的城堡，而从心底希望离开。
或许她不是故意让恶魔忍心放开，她只是不小心让恶魔感受到了她不愿留下的心。

给恶魔的爱已经装满了，天使就要飞了。
要记得，天使的善良和爱是无止尽的，不只是属于恶魔一个人。

Grateful and thankful to meet great people and make great friends

I have a friend that I met in university, he is always motivated. Telling dreams and stories he had.
I've learned a lot from him, and he really lighten up people's day somehow.
There is another friend here too, she is a drummer.
She is always hopeful and have a clear mind of what she wants.
She motivated me a lot, too.
Then there is another friend here, she is a singer.
She works very very hard to get what she want. And she loves herself so much as herself.
She is happy. She told me to write something everyday.

They are such great friends I've met here, I appreciate their appearance in my life.
Although their somehow crazy in someway, I love being around them. =)

You guys rock!

在你身边

在她的右边，牵你的左手
在你的右边，握你的右手
握你的左手，感受你的温柔
她的掌心，藏着他想要的温暖

Comet

Comet
By Charmaine Soo

They are
stars falling
from the sky
They stop sparkling
stop to shine
Children of the earthing
dancing under
showers of the diamonds
and ring the chimes
Never stop praying
for new star to rise
that waits for THE child
to never cease
it's brightest shine

Hi blogger!

It's been 4 months plus after my last post.
Well, I was in university, and many things happens, let's see.
I am back to the single ladies' group. This is probably the BIGGEST thing happened in the past 4 months.
After two months in university, we broke up because we find it hard to go on again. Yes, I HAD a hard time.

Next, I am joining a band in my university under the Chinese Society's Music Club. My band is called Fly Young. It is made up of 5 people including me, 3 girls, 2 guys. I'm playing the guitar!

From the left is YanRou, Me, PeikXin, HanWei, and Albert
Photo taken during Jump Concert Competition, 2013. Credit to Siew Yee =)

My life in UPSI was unexpectedly fun because of this band and music thingy, it is so awesome to play music! The life in UPSI was busy that's why I haven't been updating my blog often. (assignments assignments lectures lectures meetings meetings events preparation etc.) And these business occupied me so much that I can hardly think about sad things, so it's good to be busy sometimes. =)

And AND AND!! My niece was born!!
Her name is Xin En and she has sexy kissable lips~

I've thought about a lot a lot of things, and I'm so grateful that I have great friends and family backing me up. I knew I'm not a good enough. Therefore, I have set up some goals for myself, I'm going to be a better person, give my best for myself. I'm going to bring back the positive, confident and lively Charmaine!

I've met many new friends in university, different people that are lively and lovely. Although something unhappy happened. I'm grateful.

I am grateful that I have family that loves me.

I am grateful that I can be myself.

I am grateful that I went for a jog today.
I am grateful that my hard-works on my academic performance paid off. But I still can do better!

I'll be better without you. No worries.

1st of September: my first day in UPSI

Wake up wake up!
3am in the morning i was waken by my cellphone. I was dreaming about myself investigating onbsome wesen as I was a grim(currently watching and obsessed with: Grimm) Lol...

Slept for four hours then getting up preparing for the journey to my new chapter. I depart at 4:30am with my parents. Car full loaded with my stuff. My session for registration was actually 10:30am but we arrived too early at 8:12am LOL...but arrive early is better than arrive late cuz i can finish up all this registration thibgs earlier and settle down and have rest.

Well, Jes is my roommate. We live in Khar at the new campus, campus Sultan Azlan Shah of UPSI. Lets talk about the campus...well its new, the room is big but the toilet is super small, omg. Everyroom is equipped with 2 beds 2 table 2 wall rack 2 cupboard. There are three room for two in each house and 2 toilet with shower and a corner for us to do some laundry and two basin. It can be said tat it was well equipped and we have a washing machine, a dryer equipped, juss toss in few coins then you can do your laundry.

Jes and I are taking the same course which is great! We are having a pleasant time =)

10:30am I registered in Khar and start moving my things to my hostel. That kills me! Parents' car are not allowed to go in!!(wth) so me, papa, and mami have to lift my stuff from the carpark to the hostel and climb 3 floors stairs. My dad almost pass out so as we...omg...many parents are in the same condition. The authorities shouldn't do it like this. They are worried about traffic jams but not the condition of the students and their parents or guardian etc. Many are old people you know and have to lift heavy good from the carpark to hostel which i believe is a few hundrdd metres far depend on where u park your car and how unlucky u are.. haiz....

Currently I am standing and waiting for bus to take us to Dewan besar, two bus is going to take few hundreds students I can barely feel my legs. OMG it was so painful to stand stand stand and walk walk walk and barely have time to sit down and rest...phew...I'm dying and thats good cuz i will sleep like a dead tonight, no more sleeping problems on new bed!

I hope tomorrow will be better

Peach!! Yum yum...